Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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