Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We are all done wearing pants today
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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