i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
