I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
