She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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