then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
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