I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
