I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
