hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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