and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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