i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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