Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
