Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
