it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
