i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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