Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
