they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
