He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
