Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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