she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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