We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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