two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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