just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
