Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
