She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
