oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
