We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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