Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
