We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
