you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
