they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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