I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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