Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
