Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Watching her eat just hurts me
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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