He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
