You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Sorry my hands just texted you
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
