hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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