Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
