school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
