i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
