do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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