Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
