Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
