a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
