Who did Billy Mays play for?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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