Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
