You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
