Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
