This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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