the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
